Dream Safari

Lady bug spending Xmas with us on the couch (Taken with...

Mon, 26 Dec 2011 12:39:50 +0000

Lady bug spending Xmas with us on the couch (Taken with instagram)

The deal with the devil

Fri, 18 Nov 2011 03:28:46 +0000

It’s 3am and I can’t sleep. I am so anxious about work and am really, really struggling. I’ve been trying for 3 hours and nothing works. It’s gotten to the point where my brain keeps saying ‘if you let me sleep I promise to go to do regular sleep patterns’, ‘if you let me sleep I promise to not drink caffeine, alcohol, water, WHATEVER it takes’. It’s that weird sort of instant gratification even in insomnia. As I write this I want to close the laptop right now and focus on sleeping but it was that excessive focus on sleeping that got me here in the first place. So, what to do? Keep writing until my fingers are sore and my brain can no longer process words? Ideally, yes. But I’m worried that that would result in a 10,000 page brain fart and even more bags under my eyes. Instead, I will actively write until I can think of somewhat of a solution.

Still haven’t found one but I can’t seem to write anymore my brain is shut off and just wants to rest. I will need to add to this post but for now typing sense none makes.

Challenge - Incommunicado

Mon, 07 Nov 2011 23:33:23 +0000

This evening I went out to dinner and drinks with a friend. Her phone kept vibrating and she proceeded to read and respond to texts the entire night I was there. This frustrated me quite a big deal. I admit to writing the occasional text or answering the ‘important’ phone call every now and then, but this was quite clearly devided attention.

Divided attention is something people have been banging on about for ages. That we surf the internet, text or tweet, while watching television. But these are usually all passive communication. Whether it’s imputing information into our brains from television or blogs. Or outputting information from our brains such as tweeting, texting Facebook updates. There are rarely instances where it is a two way streak of communication. Twitter and Facebook possibly come close however I would argue that it’s not two way as the output is not guaranteed a response. When we have contact with another person, we expect a response. We don’t wait for someone to ‘like’ our comment or post on our wall. We expect that if they don’t respond there is something inherently wrong with them or we’ve said something to completely offend them. Either way, whether it be positive or negative, a response is assumed.

When we are ‘switched on’ all the time to the online world, we are actually more disconnected from the real world. We don’t give our complete attention to the person in front of us. We are instead wondering what the message said, who commented on what. What I find amazing is that we are told to turn off our phone for lectures, movies and interviews but we can’t do it for those most important to us. We are more concerned about the possibility of getting a ‘comment’ from Steve from year 12 Maths class than we are about listening to the person two feet a way from us.

So I propose a challenge to myself and to friend (and if any, readers) to switch off the phone during any social interactions. Whether it be dinner or just coffee, switch off the phone and give the people/person you’re speaking to 100% of your undivided attention. Initially, I imagine, it will be difficult to do. You will think about who has messaged you while the phone is off. Or possibly be tempted to turn it back on when that person goes to the bathroom. But over time, you will get used to it and you will break free from the shackles of technology and start to really appreciate the time you spend with that friend. Why else would you have gone out instead of staying at home on Facebook?

Flow

Tue, 01 Nov 2011 21:48:17 +0000

I am writing this post in the hopes of achieving the subject matter - ‘Flow. Flow is comparable to being on a roll. It’s that feeling you get when everything just works. Like an interview when you just find yourself nailing all the questions and synching with the interviewees. Flow is that feeling when you get up and feel that you’ve got a purpose, you’ve got drive and you live out that drive for the next day, month, year, lifetime. The evidence of flow is aparent when you look back a year past and say ‘where did the time go?. When you experience flow, you are flowing along. The universive is shaping you and you are shaping the universe. Slowing down seems impossible. Flow is like a never ending trip. It is far different to routine. Flow just gets you in the swing of things. Things gravitate to you and you gravitate towards them unassumingly. It’s like the silver platter being handed to you but you didn’t order it.

So, while my flow has dissipated over the last few weeks, months. I felt it conjure up again. This is hopefully the beginning. The striking of the match. The lighting of the indistinguishable sparkler that burns through the night and into the new year.

Non stop writing

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 15:09:39 +0100

Here we go - I’m going to start with boredom. For those of you who are equally bored enough to read this. Please excuse the grammar.

This post is an attempt to expel the boeredom I have been feeling for the l;ast few days. I’m actually unsure whether it is boredom or anxiety or both., You see, I am desperately trying to do something that makes a change. At least in my heart. The rest of me just wants me to get another job and go back to the rat race and being another droid within society. I guess that’s what it really comes down to. Being the droid. The robot that feels programmed by capatalism and consumption, gluttony, sex and instant gratificaiton. I want to feel good NOW. I NEED to feel good now. Give me answers or give me drugs. But it takes more than the demands of the mind to make this happen. It takes patience it takes training, above all, it takes appreciation of what’s surrounding you. You can’t be happy unless you can apprecaite what happiness is. You may see someone smiling but you won’t necessarily know what they’re smiling about, unless it’s a kid with an ice cream. That person may smile for a different reason to you. They might smile because they’ve just received a promotion at work, they’ve just left their wife, they may have fleeced a friend of theirs. The point is, we can identify that someone is happy but happiness differs from each person. I feel like this is a massive state the obvious example. But the point actually is that if we are droids and robots being told to chase a similar thing shouldn’t our happinesses look similar. Of course not.

So the non stop writing has already failed. I’ve written a lot of things that just don’t make sense and I also got distracted and stopped.

I think I need to write more focused points. Boredom is too broad and write, edit, write edit, write edit. I need to vow to stop writing and publishing dribbble until I’m happy with it. Afterall, if I’m not how are you dear, non existent, reader.

So. I’ve got to set myself a goal. An achieveable goal. I want to write an inspiring piece that will benefit society in some way. That I can either send to my friends in the hopes of inspiring them, getting them to take action or donate money.

I keep thinking that studying further is going to solve the problems, is going to land me the dream job, it comes from within. Studying is like my brains instant gratification. It wants to learn the knowledge and thinks being inrolled in a course is the same as buying a new computer. It’s not, the challenges of studying is just as difficult if not, in some ways, easier, than challenging myself and pursuing what I really want. So I got there in the end. Even if this just seems like a sense of stalemate with myself. In the line of ‘it’s too hard, I’d rather be a droid’

Watch this space. Surprisingly, the non stop writing was helpful!

The great boredom test

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 14:50:16 +0100

I recently read some articles about boredom being the key to creativity. I definitely think there is some truth in the matter. When are brain is ‘active’ we are thinking about work, our relationships, our family, what we’re doing on the weekend, etc. When we are thinking about these things our brains attention, even if just subconsciously, is divided. When we are bored it is exactly the opposite. We are looking for things to do, we are looking to make our brain more ‘active’ and fire off thoughts and ideas.

So here it goes. The next post I am going to write without stopping for as long as possible. I’m going to keep searching and searching for ideas until something sticks.

Unemployed - Day 3

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 14:45:37 +0100

Ok. So today is my third day of being unemployed and I’m getting quite anxious. I’m anxious for many reasons:

1. It’s a tough job market out there (possibly going to be hit by a second recession) and landing another job may prove difficult

2. TIming. It’s about to hit the holiday season. I need to land a job in the next couple of weeks, otherwise there will be no work till January.

3. Complacency - I have this bad feeling that I’m getting into another job that I may not like. The reason I left my previous job was to pursue a dream. Ideologically that was the right thing to do. But rationally in a time of a recession, quitting my job to do something that ‘helps the world’ is in so many ways moronic. I’m sure many of the ‘99%’ would jump at the opportunity to have what I had. So here lies my biggest problem. Am I an ungrateful Gen Y brat? Who should just learn how to be happy when times are down. I would like to think that I left for the pursuit of something bigger and greater. But that evidence is yet to be seen.

wearethe99percent: As a child I survived years of sexual...

Tue, 25 Oct 2011 23:23:47 +0100

wearethe99percent:

As a child I survived years of sexual abuse. In adolescence I battled bullying, clinical depression and suicidal tendencies. I refused to drop out of high school when my guidance counselor told me to because I didn’t want to be “yet another mentally ill person dependent on public welfare programs to survive.” What kept me going was my dream of being a mental health therapist so I could use my experience to help others. In college I defeated my binge-eating disorder. In graduate school, I left my abusive fiancé with nothing but what I could shove in my car because I knew I would die if I stayed with him. I still managed to graduate with my Master’s in Applied Clinical Psychology with a 3.97 GPA.

No one in NY State will hire me because I am unlicensed, but I cannot obtain a license without 3600 hours of documented supervised work experience. Even the VA hospital rejected my offer to provide therapy services for free so I could obtain hours because it is a “liability issue.” All of the things life threw at me couldn’t shatter my resolve to overcome and better myself… but the economy did. Tomorrow I have an appointment to fill out paperwork for food stamps and Medicaid. I am an unemployed unlicensed mental health therapist dependent on public welfare programs to survive.

I am the 99%…

Occupywallstreet.org

Rant #1 - Your disgusting habits

Tue, 25 Oct 2011 23:21:30 +0100

So this is my first real soap box post. I have previously restrained myself from blogging about pet peeves and disgusting habits, but yesterday I was pushed over the edge.

The first is spitting. It’s disgusting. I can’t ever see a justified reason to do it in or across people’s walking paths. If you have flem that you need to expel, use a tissue or a bin. At least try to make it look like your embarrassed that you have to perform such a disgusting display. Too often I have seen real arrogant types who almost expect to be high-fived after they have spit. As if they have lined the paths with their saliva filled gold. Please. Spare us and the ground of your foulness.

The second - littering. I don’t know where to begin on this one. Yesterday I was standing across from a pedestreian traffic light. Across the way was some smarmy man who, after taking the last one out, drops his cigarette packed on the ground and casually walks across the road. I think the bin was ten minutes away. Witnessing this I thought if only we had something like a ‘Civil Slap’ (patent pending) in which I could proceed to slap him across the face as we crossed paths. Oh how the people near me would cheer and carry me on their shoulders and say ‘thank you for keeping our city clean’. Perhaps not.

OmNomination: Dear Occupy

Mon, 17 Oct 2011 17:06:45 +0100

OmNomination: Dear Occupy:

astronautlovetriangl:

Dear ‘Occupy’ movement,

If you don’t like corporations, stop funding them and start living locally. Our unwillingness to pay for the real cost of all our luxuries is what got us into this mess. We won’t choose to pay for fair wages, so they outsource to those who are desperate enough to be taken…

So I resigned today

Tue, 04 Oct 2011 22:01:25 +0100

After months and months of unhappiness, I resigned today. In pursuit of dreams was the original idea. When I recover from the stress of the day, I can start that pursuit.

But for now, I’m worried. Am I an idiot for leaving a job in pursuit of happiness? Is it silly leaving a reasonable paying job in pursuit of some still to be defined dream? So far it’s a split vote. People in advertising say ‘no’, ‘hell no!’ even. My family on the other hand, they think I’m crazy.

So is is that people in advertising have their heads up in the clouds more often than others? I like to think it’s because everyone else loves their jobs and advertising is like the Heroin of work. You have your first hit and you keep chasing that one big rush that you once felt when you joined.

Liars

Sun, 02 Oct 2011 22:51:46 +0100

I’ve never been good at lying. I tried when I was younger and realised I couldn’t do it. I’m an open book, if anyone asks me something I will tell them the truth or tell them why I can’t tell them the truth.

Lately, I’ve come across some very suspect stories. I don’t know if it’s the people who I have come in contact with or just London, but there seems to be so many variations of the truth with people I meet.

The frustrating thing is that these vary from petty things, such as someone said ‘x’ about you, to this person/situation has ruined my life.

It just got me thinking, why? Why be such a compulsive liar? is your life so boring you need to make stuff up? Or is your life so crazy you need to lie to keep things ‘hush, hush’.

The stuff I’ve heard this weekend isn’t appropriate to put on the web. But I assure you reader, it’s mind boggiling

Everything else is better

Thu, 29 Sep 2011 22:57:38 +0100

So, this blog has been live for a very short amount of time and already I’m failing to update it. As I write this I am rushing because I want to read and do a whole bunch of other random things before I go to bed. But still, I feel the need to complete a post.

And yet I’m rushing, as usual, not focusing on the detail and just wanting it done. This very inspiring quote by a great blogger, Sam Davidson, makes me want to change. To take the time to appreciate the little things:

Life in the fast lane rarely allows us to slow down enough to see what’s going on around us. In our race to be anywhere but here, we forget that here is the only place where we can discover ourselves. We’re running too fast for too long. We need to not just pace ourselves, but to take off our cleats, feel the pavement or the grass or the sand in between our toes and remember what it was like to fully embrace not knowing it all. It’s our ignorance that provides the opportunity for amazement.

And yet, with that inspiring quote that pretty much puts to shame anything I’ve written, I leave. Rushed and ready to be distracted by some unimportant thing.

Project managing your ideas

Mon, 26 Sep 2011 00:56:00 +0100

So, I should be sleeping but I had ideas for my Dream Consultant project/possible career change.

Ask a friend, acquittance or random stranger what their dream is.
Have the Dreamer fill out a questionnaire about their dream
Do some additional detective work to figure out everything they need to do to reach that dream.
Put together a project plan with milestones of reaching that goal.
Create an ‘Imprint’ a one page document with information about their person and the dream. This document is to share with potential employers or beneficiaries of the Dreamer.
Extend tentacles out to connections and see if anyone can help. If not create new connections with people who would be able to help out. Eg if the dream was to get into Uni then I would contact the university about requirements. If say an application form had to be submitted this would be included in the Project Plan and a connection would be made to help review the application.
Post Dream review. Write up a case study about how that person’s dream or passion was or wasn’t realised.

Still currently getting over a breakup, this song is just so...

Mon, 26 Sep 2011 00:34:58 +0100

Still currently getting over a breakup, this song is just so perfect.

I just love this song. It’s the only song in a while where...

Mon, 26 Sep 2011 00:33:29 +0100

I just love this song. It’s the only song in a while where I’ve played it several times in a row.

This is on heavy rotation this month. I just absolutely love it....

Mon, 26 Sep 2011 00:31:43 +0100

This is on heavy rotation this month. I just absolutely love it. Despite it’s drab lyrics and subject matter I find it so uplifting.

Personal goal #9 - Do something GOOD every single day

Mon, 26 Sep 2011 00:20:02 +0100

Some days it might be a huge gesture and other days it might be a hug or a kind word to someone in need but a nice gesture should occur every day. I will (try to) comment every day and say exactly what the nice gesture was.

Things that don’t classify as nice gestures:

Making tea for people at work
High fiving people at work

Personal goal #8 - Start something from scratch and FINISH it!

Mon, 26 Sep 2011 00:19:31 +0100

Even before the internet and Facebook I’ve had a very low attention span. I’ve always started a game, a book, an idea and never really finished it. So I’m pledging to start something and actually finish it!

Suggestions:

Model
Language class
Long piece of writing (This is a bit of a cop out as I’ve covered this in another personal goal).
An idea - eg. Personal project eg. Website.

Personal goal #7 - Use Facebook less

Mon, 26 Sep 2011 00:18:26 +0100

There is no denying the benefits of FB. It’s great to check what friends are doing, be reminded of birthdays and invite people to events. But lately every time I log on to FB I get a dose of Fear of Missing Out or worse, I feel like I’m there - which is one of purposes of FB. But enough. I’m not in Sydney, Canberra or even Australia. There’s no real benefit knowing what you’re doing. So I’m going to ween myself off it. I would go cold turkey but it’s unfortunate that I need it for work and it’s also the main way people communicate these days. But yes a little less FB is all I need. The weening starts today.